Galumph
by Yemi Hikari
Summary: Because Todd was playing sick at school, Jean had to take him home. Thus he is able to drive one X-man, or X-woman insane.


_Disclaimer – I don't own X-men Evolution. The title of the song was inspired by 'went the little green frog', a day camp song. It said 'Galumph' at the beginning of the sentence. I found it appropriate for this fanfic._

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Galumph

Todd had been having a very interesting day. He had pretended that when Nightcrawler had teleported in front of him that it was due to a couple of football players blowing smoke in his face so the coach had sent him to the nurses office. There he ran into Duncan cheating on Jean and threw up on the jock.

He then pretended he was so sick that he was calling the nurse Mommy, Jean sissy and Darkholme Aunty. He knew he would pay for it later, but hey… he was getting to annoy a certain X-geek, so Mystique might not be too mad at him. He had made it so that Jean had to take him home from school, much to her displeasure.

"So… sissy, how are we going to get home," Todd commented, tilting his head and making his eyes roll in a really disgusting way. "How are we going to get home?"

"How are we… I know your not sick, you sicko," Jean commented, using her hand to toss her hair.

"Can sissy use telli powers to toss her hair too?" Todd commented, drooling to gross Jean out.

"You little! I am so going to kick your butt!" Jean said.

With this, Todd ran back down the hall way, screaming as he did so. "Auntie! Sissy is going to hurt me!"

Jean groaned, as she knew the boy was getting a major kick out of this. She had to get him out of here before he really embarrassed her. She telekinetically moved him so she could grab his shirt. "I am _not_ going to hurt you… ok?"

"OK!" Todd yelled right into her ear, making Jean wince. Or had he found some way of sending his thought into her head. No, she was just imagining things. "So, how are we going to get home?"

"How are we going to get home?" Jean asked herself. "I can't walk you home… you'll cause to much ruckus. I guess I have to borrow someone's car…"

Todd suddenly found himself pulled over and being pulled down the hall by his collar. He giggled with fake madness, even when they came to in front of the locker room. Jean banged on the door. A football player came out and noticed her, then went to go get Duncan. Apparently he hadn't noticed Todd.

"Hi Jean. What are you… what is he doing here?" Duncan said, startling all of a sudden.

"I … need … to … borrow … your … car," Jean commented.

"Ahh… to run the dweeb over with? He'd make good road kill foggy," Duncan said.

"Unfortunately, no… and I am not that cruel," Jean said, only to have Todd suddenly try to escape.

"Mommy! Auntie! Sissy is trying to kill me! Again!" Todd said, squirming as he did so.

"Ahh… is he still sick?" Duncan asked.

"Yes!" Jean snapped. "Sorry Duncan, but he's … well, he's being delusional. He thinks that the nurse is his mother and that the Principle is your Aunt."

"And you're his sister… which is why you got roped into it," Duncan said, glaring at the boy. "Sorry I can't help you, but I don't want you messing up my car… I mean him messing up my car. Try asking Summers."

"Fine," Jean said, storming off and dragging Todd after her.

"Help! Big brother! Sissy is trying to kill me," Todd said, waving his arms for Duncan to rescue him. To his joy, Duncan's face turned very pale, so he continued to rant until Duncan was out of site.

Jean's next stop was the class Scott was in. The teacher was surprised to see her. "Miss Grey, what is this about."

"I … have … been … assigned … to take … him … home … because … he's … sick," Jean muttered.

"Ahh…" the man said, his jaw dropping. "What does that have to do with me?"

"Sissy, is that grandpa… I thought he was dead," Todd said, ticking his head from side to side.

"What the…"

"I … really … need … Scott's … car … keys," Jean said.

"I see," the teacher said, going into the class room. "Scott, Jean needs to borrow your car. Apparently … Darkholme has asked her to take … uhh … Todd Tolansky home because he's sick."

"Jeanie sissy says I'm not sick then says I'm a sicko. Doesn't that mean I'm sick?" Todd choked out, as if he was getting sicker.

"You mean she's not going to run him over with the car?" One of the students said.

"I wish…" the teacher said, then brought out the keys.

"Hi grandpa… you want me to go to heaven with you," only to have Jean begin to haul Todd off towards the parking lot. She unlocked the car and shoved him in.

"Buckle in Todd, or you will end up going to heaven if we get in a wreck,"

"OK! OK!" Todd yelled, again at the top of his lungs. As h buckled in, he threw up slime on the floor of Scott's convertible.

"O… K…" Jean said, getting into the driver seat. "Remind me how I got roped into this again?"

"You're my sister?"

"Yes… don't you have anyone else," Jean asked.

"Uhh … uhh," Todd said. He suddenly broke his sick act for a few seconds. "So far I'm the only one at the place. It's rather lonely… I mean… SISSY! Don't you know, only you, Auntie and Mommy, and they're stuck WORKING!"

"It's going to be a long day, isn't it," Jean commented.

"Aren't days always forty-eight hours long," Todd commented.

"TWENTY-FOUR!" Jean said, pulling out of the parking lot.

"Wahh! Sissy yelled at me! WAHH!" Todd yelled.

"Alright, tell me which way to go,"

"Why? Sissy knows the way home?"

"Fine… do you want me to turn you over to Logan?" Jean commented. "Then we could feed shish-ca-bob foggy to the alligators in the zoo."

"Uhh…" Todd said. "GO LEFT!"

Jean then preceded to follow Todd yelling at the top of his lungs. When she turned into where he wanted to go, she realized it wasn't his home. "So… do you live in the dumpster in the back of this burger joint?"

"HUNGRY!" Todd yelled. "HUNGRY!"

"Oh… fine," Jean said, turning in and was about to order a burger to go, when Todd asked her question.

"What exactly is a burger?" He said, tilting his head.

"Dead … cow," Jean said, none to happy.

"Dead cow… I don't want dead meat," Todd said.

"Fine, I'll get you a salad," Jean said, rolling her eyes.

"No… bugs," Todd commented.

"What?"

"I said bugs," Todd said, nodding his head.

"Aren't they meat?" she asked.

"No, they're protein, but not meat," Todd said, smirking. "Ask for bugs."

"Uhh… my friend… uhh … little brother wants to know if you serve bugs,"

"YUMMIE BUGS,"

"TOAD!"

"IT'S TODD! SIS CAN'T YOU REMEMBER MY NAME?"

"Please pull up to the window," came a very angry waitress. When she got to the window, she handed Jean a burger with cockroaches sticking out and then disappeared. Jean quickly handed Todd the hamburger.

"Uhggh, that is so gross!" Jean commented.

"YUMM!" Todd said, gulping it down.

"Now where," Jean said, and had to listen to his screaming again. "What… the car wash?"

"Yay! Car bath time," Todd said.

"All right," Jean said, rolling up the sides and windows. She paid for the carwash. As they were going through, Todd rolled back the top, getting them both soaked. Not to mention Todd's smell grew terribly worse. And, when she looked over at him, he had froth coming out of his mouth and was blowing bubbles. His eyes said he enjoyed tormenting her and that if she didn't want the principle knowing, she had better continue taking him home.

So, she had to deal with him yelling directions again. She was getting nervous about his next spot. "TODD! THIS IS LOOK OUT POINT!"

"Born FREE!" Todd screeched at the top of his lungs, causing to also have Jean cover her eyes as he stripped down to his underwear. He then hopped out of the car and up the tree, singing his song as he did so, leaving his clothes in the back seat.

"Todd, get back into the car NOW!" Jean said, getting out of the car forgetting that the keys were still in the ignition. Suddenly, Todd was in the front seat and she was going around to the passenger side, which had it's door open and leaning over to grab the keys. "Give me… uggh, you slimed the seat!"

Todd turned the car back on and began moving the car backwards fast. "Sissy better buckle up else she goes to heaven with grandma… or was it grandpa."

Jean suddenly found herself buckling in from terror, and her entire backside slimed. She was also covering her eyes so she couldn't see the reckless driving Todd was doing, nor the fact that he didn't have any clothes on. She was so freaked she heard a conversation between two cops watching them pass by with her mind.

"_I think she's being kidnapped… by that Tolansky kid,"_

"_Nothing we can do… nothing we can do,"_

Jean would have screamed if it hadn't been for the fact that Todd was already screaming his head off. Suddenly they stopped.

"We're home!" Todd commented. "Come play! Come play!"

"Sorry… but I've got to get back to school," Jean said. "_Not to mention get Scott's car cleaned up before he gets out of school."_

Todd then leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. He liked watching her squirm. Being able to pretend to be sick was great. He walked into the house to see Mystique standing there, frowning at him. "What do you have to say for yourself Tolansky!"

"HAH! One X-Geek tortured, tortured, tortured!" Todd chortled.

"Which is the only reason I'm _not_ punishing you," Mystique said, disappearing to go back to the school. She then looked over her shoulder. "Might I ask though, where your clothes are? You had better retrieve them before you do get back, or I will find some way of punishing you."

**M**

Jean thought she was all done with the whole Todd mess and that she would be able to get Scott's car clean before the end of school. She didn't expect Scott to bamph them to the institute because he was worried about Jean having to take the monster home in his car. The first words out of his mouth were, "My car!"

The fist words out of Jean's mouth were. "Crap!"

"Vhat does crap mean?" Kurt asked, peaking into the back. "Vhy is Todd's clothes back there?"

"He … pulled … a … striptease … act," Jean commented.

"My car!" Scott said, then he noticed Jean. "What happened to you?"

Jean slammed the door open, crashing into his knew, causing him to let out an exclamation of pain. "I was going to clean your car for you, but excuse me as the car is more important then your long time friend having been driven insane by…"

They suddenly heard a sound coming from near by. "Dunuh, dunuh, duhuh... dunuh."

"Vhat vas that?" Kurt asked, raising an eyebrow. They watched as Todd slowly climbed the institute fence using his powers. Kurt slapped a hand across his face. "Man, that vas more then I ever want to see."

"You and me both buddy," Scott commented. Jean just turned around with anger. Suddenly, Todd's clothes went up into the air and hit him.

'Hey, I'm sick remember?" Todd commented. "Or do I have to tell Auntie?"

Jean let a smile cross her face. "Auntie only said I had to take you home… right?"

"Uhh…oh…"Todd said, knowing where this was leading. A telekinetic blast found him hitting the ground, she then used another to heave him over the fence, hard. "THAT HURT!

"Serves you right for what you did to my car!" Scott commented.

"I'm surprised Jean didn't flatten him," Kurt said, emphasizing a smack of his fist. "Smack… run over the Toad and make Toad road kill."

"I HEARD THAT!" Todd yelled from the other side of the gate.

"I heard Volverine has taken to liking to eat lizards," Kurt commented. "Frogs and toads aren't far behind."

With that, Todd scurried off, putting his clothes on at the same time and tripping. Jean and Scott looked at Kurt, their eyebrows raised. Jean was the one who spoke. "Wolverine eating lizards?"

"Hey, it vorked," Kurt commented.

"Yeah Kurt, but the goal is to…" Scott stated, thinking about who they were talking about, it both respects. "Never mind."


End file.
